The days After

My miscarriage happened on a Friday in the middle of the night. I called my OB that very next morning. The nurse asked me to explain to her what I was experiencing and what happened, so I did. She continued to tell me that it did indeed sound like I was in the process of miscarrying but that there was nothing they could do for me at that time until it completely passes.. that weekend was terrible.  

The symptoms of a miscarriage are no fun let me tell you that. I couldn’t stand up longer than 2 minutes I was so weak, I was lucky to make it to the restroom. I was vomiting and couldn’t hold anything down. I remember being so pale, extremely cold but sweating at the same time. I was extremely dizzy and lightheaded. I needed assistance getting up and down, it was miserable.

We made an appointment with my OB that Monday morning around 10 AM. I remember making Wills mom and my mom come with me because I just could not bare this appointment alone. (Will had work.) when you go through something like that it’s almost like you stay in shock for days. Nothing felt real.

So we go inside, I sign in and we wait about 10 minutes. Mrs. Sharon opted to wait in the waiting room when they called me back to have an ultra sound so it was just my mom and I.
I got undressed, got onto the ultra sound table shaking, nervous, scared… I waited for what felt like an hour. The ultra sound tech finally comes in and says “okay so you think you’ve had A miscarriage?” & I said “yes ma’am.” Tears began to fill my eyes, it was uncontrollable. She touched the outside of my stomach and continued to give me my ultrasound. My mom and I sitting there in silence. She says “yeah there’s nothing here. Your baby’s gone, you passed it.” I remember not being able to control my tears. The tech said ” you can go to the next room someone will be with you. 

I wanted to smack this woman. Like how dare you talk to someone so emotional and so fragile this way. I felt like she was judging me because I was young, or maybe just because she was used to seeing patients with miscarriages. But either way it gave her no right to be so rude and just plain heartless to my situation. I was in awe of her. She closed the door and I just bursted into tears to my mom. 

The most heart wrenching of this situation was that I brought my baby to my doctors appointment per my OB’s request. So they could do testing on it and figure out why or what caused me to have a miscarriage. My OB comes in my room, asks for the baby my mom handed it to him ( it was in a ziplock bag) the doctor told us to put it in the ziplock bag… and he looks at us and says ” you didn’t put it in the freezer?” 

Look, I have a temper(sometimes) And at this point I’m not having a good day at all. His ultra sound tech was rude as all get out. And now he expects me to know to put my baby that I just Miscarried in the freezer and bring it to his office out of nowhere? Who the fuck knows to do that. How was I supposed to know that when no one informed me? What. The. Hell. Not only was that weird, it just rubbed me the wrong way to put my baby in the freezer like that. So we have a discussion about that and he then switches to a birth control topic. 

I was so livid, hurt and just overwhelmed. I asked if I could schedule an appointment the following week to discuss my birth control options and he got snippy with me. I looked at my mom and said I’m done I’ve had enough & walked out of his office and have never and will never go back. 

However, after I walked out he decided to tell my mom what he thinks could have caused my miscarriage. Which is something called RH incompatibility. Which is basically if Will had a certain type of blood and the baby got his blood type, my body reacted to it as an infection & caused me to have a miscarriage. & he also told her that I passed everything clearing me so I did not have to have a  D&C performed.  I hope that makes sense to you guys! 

This blog post was a hard one, but I’m about to call it a night and say my prayers with my rainbow baby. We always talk to my angel in heaven looking over us. I hope you guys have a good night! Till next time 

Still I Rise, 

Kirsten

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s