Blessed beyond measure

By the end of all the tests the hospital ran, they came to the conclusion that Will had no brain damage, or memory loss. It was a miracle. I cut him down just in time. It was such an amazing feeling hearing that. Will stayed in the hospital for about a week on life support.. he woke up in the hospital and he cried to his dad because he remembered what happened, he asked for me too, I do know that.. he got out the day after Valentine’s Day. He ended up having some pneumonia caused by some fluid getting stuck in his lungs, but other than that he was very, very lucky. We all were. After that night, my parents made sure I wasn’t left alone for a few days.. I remember those days Will was in the hospital, I’d lay in bed and everything I would look at was something you could kill yourself with, it was everywhere. It was haunting me, from the strings that hang from your shades, to the toilet paper in your bathrooms. It haunted me for a long time.. but those first few days were the worst. I just replayed the night over and over. Was there something I could have done? Was it something I said? Did I not doing something right? The questions went on and on, until one day I realized. No matter what I did, Will was going to do what he wanted to and believe it or not Mrs. Sharon helped me realize this. That broke my heart even more because I couldn’t stop him.. not only that but I lived with this person and didn’t see any of this coming, me nor his family.. how? Thoughts like this haunt me till this day. I loved this person with all of my being, why was he so unhappy, why did he feel this way. I hated it. We don’t ever want to see someone we care about feel that way, especially try to go through with it.. 
When Will came home that afternoon I wanted to go see him.. my dad and stepmom brought me. I remember shaking in the backseat. Scared. I didn’t know what to expect.. we finally got to Wills and I remember walking in and just hugging him for the longest time, tight. I was so happy and relieved, I melted in his arms. He apologized that night to me.. I remember we sat in his living room and talked for a little while and he was on my right side.. he had a rope mark bad on the left side of his neck that I could see and I asked him to switch sides.. I started to cry. I couldn’t believe that mark was there. That was difficult for me to see.

Will got up for a few minutes and his mom Mrs. Sharon sat next to me and thanked me with tears in her eyes, I remember not really knowing what to say. She told me I’m a lot stronger than I give myself credit for, and that she’d never be able to thank me enough.. but I give all the thanks to god.. & the strongest people in this whole situation to me is Will & his family. 

Still I Rise, 

Kirsten 

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Blessed beyond measure

  1. Anonymous says:

    Normally, I can be a total chatterbox. There are no words for this situation except to say thank God you were there and able to save him. And in doing so, you saved yourself and his family too. Mrs. Sharon was right; you are strong.

    Like

  2. benttobroken says:

    God is good all the time. Even in the tough times he has a plan. Suicide often isn’t planned and most of the time it’s due to the pain. Too much mental pain. I’ve been there myself. I’d never want to leave my kids or go against gods words but I didn’t even think about it I just remember begging please let the pain stop. You’re a testimony of god. Your strength, your love, your praising him even in the middle of the hardest time of your life. Your testimony is amazing. Your blog is going to be able to help others like myself but will also give you some support.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s