Toxic relationship 

Most people who are addicts or are dating an addict probably have a toxic relationship with them, a toxic relationship is basically a relationship that has negative patterns or cycles that involve control, jealousy, selfishness, manipulation, etc. between two people trying to have a relationship.
Some common characteristics of a toxic relationship are:

Your partner putting down on you a lot, when you try to express how you feel they shut you down. Your opinions don’t matter. You feel bad a lot, un happy, un wanted, used. 

A partner can be extremely jealous. Go through your phone constantly, ask you 20 questions as soon as you enter the room, you feel like you can’t have any friends or go out and do things with friends or family.

Codependency tends to play a huge role in these relationships.. and not on the addicts behalf. You might feel extremely sad or lost when your partner is upset with you. Lost without your partner around. Their manipulation could be so strong that you will begin to lose yourself in the middle of their addiction. 

Manipulation to control your feelings. To get what they want, they might shoot you down when you try to do things that make you happy. Example: if you don’t do this im going to use or if you go out Im going to use.

You might feel drained after you spend time with that person, or get anxious about your next interaction with them. 

Sometimes insults are common in toxic relationships and blaming you for their using.

Your relationship may turn from a loving great communicating relationship to a toxic relationship if they begin to use. They may only want you around if you can get them their fix or whatever it is they need etc. a ride, money, a phone number. 

I have personally been in a toxic relationship due to drugs and alcohol. 

These kind of relationships tend to make the person that doesn’t use, or isn’t the abuser feel useless, worthless, depressed, energy less, un important to their partner, & so much more. They can even lead to suicidal thoughts.. I remember feeling so low, I didn’t really have any friends, that I saw anyways. I was always with him. I didn’t have a life of my own. He was my life, and his was the drugs. I no longer mattered like I once did.. 

If you’re in a toxic relationship please don’t hesitate to email me if you need someone to talk to. My next blog will be a story of just how toxic my relationship was. 

Still I Rise, 

Kirsten 

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