Grieving people still alive 

At night I like to get on Pinterest looking aimlessly at things and I came across a quote that read:
“One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive” 

This couldn’t be anymore true. & so, so many people go through this. When people get divorced, when people get hopelessly addicted to drugs & we have to separate ourselves from them, when we have to remove toxic people from our lives that we love, I could go on and on. 

Just because people get divorced doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other anymore.

When you leave your hard core drug addict boyfriend, fiancé, husband, wife, girlfriend, whoever you don’t stop loving them. 

You grieve the loss of these people. some we have to see often due to children or family and some we don’t have to see often except on social media or whatever it may be. But you definitely still grieve the loss of these people in your life. You grieve the people they once were, because yes people do change I hate to burst your bubble. 

After I left Will I realized that people change on their own without drugs, like I did. I changed mentally and emotionally. And some people are changed by drugs. Addiction definitely changes people. 

I grieved the loss of a person I once couldn’t imagine my life without. He was still alive, fully functioning, calling my phone, texting me. But I was grieving him. He was no longer and will never be the person I fell in love with again. That’s a hard thing, when people are still physically there, especially still trying to contact you. 

When people divorce they don’t stop loving each other, they may fall out of love but they’ll always care about each other. , most of the time. They grieve the person they once married and were so helplessly In love with. 

I think what makes this so hard is that we remember the way these people were, before they changed, before they took drugs, before they began beating us, whatever it may be. When we fall in love we don’t forget who that person was and that’s difficult to watch the people you love change. 

Maybe this is why some people have such a hard time moving on and letting go. I’m not sure, but I do know that it hurts like hell to grieve someone who is still alive. 

I’ve done it more than once, hell more than twice. Everyone around you is going through something with someone or internally. People hide their pain extremely well. I remember being at family functions and having to go somewhere privately and just cry for a few minutes while I was grieving Will, putting my makeup back on and acting like nothing ever happened. You never know what people are going through around you, and especially during this time in our country I encourage you to think about others and that we all have a story. 

They might not show it, but they have a story. Some you may be very shocked to know, so don’t be ugly & don’t judge people. The person you love today may be gone tomorrow or they may change in due time. If you’re grieving someone, please know that it gets easier and time heals all wounds. Your love will stay but your pain will subside, I promise. 

Still I rise, 

Kirsten 

Personal email – stognerslife@yahoo.com

Instagram- stognerslife

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